Whew. I'm back.

So I've spent far too many days trying to figure out the direction I want this blog to go in. It's called No Sex and the South, and believe me... I'm still not having sex. I have a five year old and the man that I love has a four year old. There is very little sex being had in our relationship... but please be patient as I navigate the growing pains as I decide exactly what to do with the blog.

I know that this whole "relationship" thing has really put a damper on the blog. I haven't been writing, but honestly it has nothing to do with not having material or even with not having the time or energy or desire. It's had everything to do with wanting to make sure I get this right. I had to have a vision. A goal.

Truth be told, I didn't realize how many people cared about my relationship status until I started actually dating someone. "Do NOT fall in love, Kayla. You can't do that. What about the blog??" I can't even begin to tell you how many times I heard that. And, quite frankly, I didn't want to fall in love. I was happy for the first time in so long. I had my own apartment. My own life. Didn't have to answer to anyone. I had this blog and my readers were loving reading about Mr. White. They wanted to see if he was going to try to work his way back in. They wanted to know exactly what those pictures of Clooney entailed. Relationships are boring. Clooney sex surely would not be. And I was right there with you guys. Trust me. I didn't want a relationship. I mean, sure. A part of me wanted to be loved and be all mushy and have someone to rub my back and all of that great relationship stuff. But I didn't trust guys. Not a single one of them. I mean, come on--- Mr. White was married. Have we forgotten that?? And with every picture Clooney sent, I wondered how many other girls had gotten the same picture. The Ex had ruined me. And it wasn't even just THE Ex. It was the majority of the Exes. And it was other guys that I've known who have been unfaithful to girlfriends and wives. It was the ones screwing their secretaries. It was the ones in the bar overheard saying "a blow job isn't actually cheating". It was pretty much every man I had ever encountered. It was guys that I had been with myself. It was a guy who was married to one of my former friends. It was, again, every man I knew for the most part. So, no. I didn't trust him. I didn't trust any man and it wasn't worth the risk.

Until it was.

So I did it. Admittedly, I'd had a few drinks and my best friend had coerced me into sending a "relationship request" on facebook. Okay. So maybe it was more of a "Do you dare me?" thing. But regardless. She dared me. The people at the table next to us in the restaurant dared me. Well, with the exception of this one guy who was all "No. Don't do that. Maybe discuss it first. Then let him do it."

That guy was dumb. We did not listen to that guy.

I had my best friend checking my hopefully-soon-to-be-boyfriend"s facebook page regularly to see if he had accepted yet & if it was showing up on his page. Before we left the parking lot we were "facebook official". BAM.

Thirty minutes later, the bestie and I were at a local watering hole. Watering hole. Do people still even call it that? I mean, it's a bar. Not so much a hole in the wall, but definitely not a club. The finest South Lowndes County has to offer. (Seriously, though. If you find yourself in South Lowndes County- even if you're just passing through- stop by Rascal's. You won't regret it. The food is phenomenal. The staff is great. You won't find better ownership. And the after-hours environment is just low-key enough to make you feel like you fit in no matter where you're from.) I digress. We were at the bar. Apparently, the news had spread like wild fire. Well. That's not entirely true. Lake Park isn't that big. Pretty much the entire town is my friend on Facebook. No. I actually have a friend on Facebook that says "Lake Park, GA". The amount of people who already knew about my new relationship was astounding. "Don't do this. You can't do this. What will happen to the blog?"

I was kind of with them.

What would happen to the blog? Would I just make up stuff? Would I continue talking about life as it was? Would I just talk about the past and what lead me to this point?

I knew I couldn't just let it go. This blog is crucial to my sanity. Granted, the drinking that I do to be able to relax enough to write it is probably hell on my liver. I've put away more than half a bottle of Bacardi Black tonight (I'm SORRY, Keil!!!!). And it's the big bottle. I stole it from my best friend (I SAID I'M SORRY!!!) It's no Sailor Jerry, but it will do in a pinch.

So- I've decided. I'm just going to write whatever comes to my mind. It's what I'm best at. For what it's worth, No- I do not think I'm Carrie Bradshaw (told you I went through your phone, boyfriend of mine). I just think that I'm relatable. Carrie was in her own way. But in the same way that Carrie relates to NY socialites, I relate to the small town girl.. which is also the same way we women all relate to each other. I can hate your ex girlfriend or your current girlfriend or your baby mama or your actual mama or your best girl "friend" and still totally relate to her. Because I'm a girl. We all do it. But the blog will continue. Now that I've decided what to do with it- it will continue. You'll probably hear a little more about my past than you ever cared to know. You'll know exactly what's going on at the current time (I'm presently planning on letting this man of mine wife the shit out of me), as well as all of the drama I hear about from people who probably are only telling me so that they can "get on the blog"... or maybe they're praying their secrets never make the blog. In that case, consider this my disclaimer: If you don't want it on the blog, don't tell me. Or make sure you tell me you don't want it on the blog.

Regardless- I promise I'm getting back to it. And with all the information I've been given this past week, as well as everything going on in my own love life- I assure you I have plenty to write.

Thanks for staying loyal. I won't let you down.